Sky Schemer (skyschemer) wrote,
Sky Schemer

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At the House of the Mouse

Walt Disney World offers some of the best people-watching that planet Earth has to offer, particularly during the summer months when crowds are large but not quite insane. Yes, WDW is better than airports, train stations and bus depots. Better than WinCo and Cub Foods. Better, even, than the county fair. It is, in fact, a people-watcher's dream. Or their worst nightmare, if they happen to be trapped with the subjects on an interminably long ride on one of those "fohcking Dizney bohses", as was so eloquently put by a Spanish woman that was leaving the Boardwalk resort late one night. And that's just one example of the variety of people Disney World has to offer.

Some of the others, in no particular order:
  • The Mazzola family who was having their family reunion at WDW. You could recognize them by their bright yellow T-shirts that had "Mazolla Family Reunion" written on them. There was just something very amusing about a family named Mazolla wearing yellow. (Yes, we know it's spelled differently. Let us have our fun.)
  • The young kid that was running up and down the aisle of one of those "fochking Dizney bohses" while the bus was in motion. The parents issued the usual empty threats, which seemed to consist of, essentially, "Stop doing that or we'll tell you to stop again". What was funny here was that the kid had a band-aid on his cheek from a previous, nasty-looking injury. You would think that incident would have had an impact on his behavior, but obviously some kids learn slower than others.
  • The cast member and ride operator for Primeval Whirl at the Animal Kingdom. He struck up a short conversation with everyone in line, and managed to be cheerful and genuine the entire time. It's amazing that most of the cast members Disney employs have that kind of energy, but this guy's was completely off the scale. We rode a second time.
  • The groups of Lutherans traveling to and from Orlando for their National Youth Gathering. It seems the conference started and ended the same days as our vacation, since we had huge groups of teenagers on both our arriving and departing flights, all wearing the same blue T-shirts and carrying identical orange backpacks. Over 37,000 youth were in attendance, which would explain why the airport looked as though it were being invaded.
  • Monkey-girl: an early-to-mid-20's petite woman who kept climbing the walls, literally, of Mission: SPACE at EPCOT. She hung from the bars above, climbed on the railings, dangled in a few places and in general just could not stand still. Best described as "23 going on 3".
  • The driver of one of those "fochking Dizney bohses" who kept saying "No need to rush" at random intervals as people were boarding the bus, even though no one was rushing or otherwise appeared to be in a hurry.
  • The cheerleader type at Animal Kingdom that was wearing red shorts with the word "OFFENSE" emblazoned across her behind. This one is left as an exercise for the reader.
  • The woman in Mickey's PhilharMagic who did not understand the phrase "please continue all the way across your row and sit down, leaving no empty seats". She parked in the middle of the row, backing up an entire line of folks who were trying to do as the cast members instructed. The point of this kind of crowd control, of course, is to prevent what happens in movie theaters and it is particularly important at WDW where shows are generally packed to seating capacity. It took several people to get her to stand up and move across as instructed, though she got increasingly obstinate and hostile in the process, eventually accusing everyone else of being childish. Christina had to sit next to her (and wisely chose not to say anything, but rather just wait patiently for the woman to move on her own at the other peoples' coaxing.)
  • A man on another "fohcking Dizney bohs" who spoke in loud, incomprehensible bursts. Like "WELLGOTOLUNCHWHENWEGETBACKTOTHEHOTEL", only it actually sounded more like "WLGLNCHWHNGTBCKTHTL". His daughter apparently understood him perfectly. Christina and I needed translators.
  • The two young girls, maybe ten or eleven years old, that were seated next to me at Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Play It! They were very excited about being there even though they didn't know how to play the game or any of the answers to the questions. But they loved to chat and struck up a conversation with me. I did my best to keep up with them and not be a dorky adult, well aware of the fact that they had pointed out where their mother was sitting on the opposite side of the stage, and that she was watching us all the entire time.
  • At least two women wearing T-shirts that had "cupcakes" written across their chest. We think it was part of a logo or advertisement, but had a hard time getting beyond that first part.
  • A little girl, probably four, leaving the monorail at EPCOT. She was already excited but got even more so when she heard the music emanating from the park. "Mom! They're playing Disney music!" Very, very cute.
  • The English man that stopped right in front of us at Animal Kingdom while we were eating. He had no shirt on and sported a beer belly that could swallow children.

We can't wait to go back.
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